Score Girls by Being a Clown

No, not literally putting on white paint, green wigs and a big red nose and scare the shit out of kids and girls and probably your mom. What I mean by being a clown here, is to be funny. Like it or not, we loved to be entertained, and would pay top dollars sometimes just for entertainment. Being humorous is one sure way of enter-taining your way into a woman’s heart, and chances when you already had one, it probably will keep the relationship going for a long time.

“But I’m not funny lar….”

Yeah, keep thinking like that and you’ll never be. Get your head right, if you had made someone smile or laugh before, you’re funny. When you were a baby, even the dumbest thing you did pun get smiles and laughter from others, ok? So fuck that notion that you’re not funny, and let’s look at ways to make you funnier.

“But… but… but… I’ll make a fool of myself.”

Why, thank you dude. That’s pretty much our first point!

  1. Laugh at yourself
    The first key to be humorous, is to have the ability to laugh at yourself. Laughing at yourself means the only person that can take offense, well, is you! You don’t have to be afraid of unintentionally hurting others in your attempts. Look back at your past experience, one that is so fucking funny and unique that you would facepalm yourself just thinking of it. Or look for gender or racial stereotypes that you fall into, and make a joke of yourself from it. Being Chinese, I like to say that I’m cheapskate, always looking for a deal, consantly money-minded. Well, other people can find that offensive coz guess what? I am chinese. Plus the chinese in the crowd probably know it’s true and they too have a laugh at it. Look at Russell Peters materials and study his flow: he always make fun of himself or his race or his family first, before he starts poking fun at the crowd.
  2. Immerse yourself in tons of materials
    Talking about Russell, one good move to being funnier is to surround yourself with lots of humorous videos, jokes, anecdotes, podcast… sky’s the limit here! However, rather than just laughing your ass off, take note of how storytelling and punchlines are structured, body language and facial expressions are gestured, the specific words they used, the scope of the content etc. Hit up Youtube for videos, 9GAG or pinterest for funny pics, even if you’re feeling educational look at the humor section of TED Talks, download funny movies from torrent sites… these are all good and free resources where you can get your style and substance from.
  3. Discover your natural element
    Once you’ve immersed yourself with lots of materials, you’d probably find that you are suitable in a certain kind of comedy style. Poker-faced, sarcastic, witty, or goofball, it’s all up to you. Pick a few pros in category and emulate them. Don’t imitate, unless your funny is derived from mimicking others super well that girls can immediately relate to. Always emulate instead. Learn the styles of the pro and make it your own. That’s how you’ll get your natural element.
  4. Be Witty, Not Silly
    Now, being silly is fun when you’re trying to make kids laugh, or when you’re already in a relationship. To score a girl, you need more than that. Sure, you can pull of a few sarcastic remarks and have a good laugh about it, but nothing beats being witty. Witty is defined as “showing or characterized by quick and inventive verbal humour”. Witty is not hard to pull off, and the key component here is the art of Impromptu – thinking on your feet. Having clarity of mind is one, and you must be able to pick up almost anything around you, any topic that’s thrown at you, any tiny detail of the girl and her surroundings, and make a clever plus funny remark about it. Yeah, it may sound taunting at first (especially if there’s already an epicly gorgeous girl in front of you), and it takes practice.A good exercise to help you become more spontaneously funny is to write totally random words (gold bullion, brick wall, sign off) or phrases (a spoonful of sugar, the heat of a thousand sun, the birth of my cousin’s dog) individually on pieces of paper and put them in a fish bowl. Then, reach into it, pick one, and talk about it for one minute. If there’s a Toastmasters nearby, join them too as impromptu is one of their fundamental modules. Once you’re good at thinking at your feet, the next think is to inject a touch of humour into your statements. For me, I wasn’t witty until much later in life, and I had to credit to two things – watching tons of english sitcoms and being observant. Sitcoms, well, you kinda know where to get, (ahem torrent sites), and as for observation, it’s a matter to practice. Still yourself in a room or public place, tune out the noise and start picking out every detail that comes to mind. (Note to self: after discussing with my girlfriend, I realised I need to have a dedicated blog post just on how to be witty!)
  5. Have a dramatic laugh
    One thing I picked up with my follow co-founder of KICKSTART.MY, Anthony Roberts, is his dramatic, always loud, often astonishing, sometimes annoying dramatic laugh. That laugh, however, soon became a trademark of his, and guess what, girls do find that definitive. You see, in the sea of boring, same-same men, you need to be able to stand out. And nothing is more contagious (and humorous) than a dramatic laugh. This gesture also leads on to you needing to be more animated. Sure, a few people can pull off telling jokes with a straight face, but if you tried that and no one is laughing (or they are secretly laughing at you), then perhaps you need to incorporate more facial expressions and gestures into your communication. One thing I never hear a girl excitedly talk about a guy she just met is “OMG, that guy is so boring! I love him!”
  6. 3 things = 3 funny angles
    For the next one week, do this. Pick 3 random things, could be a sign board, poster, tee-shirt (not mine please), and find at least one funny angle to it. It could be linking your girl friend’s new permed-up hair to Rosmah, a month old shrivelled up carrot as an old men’s dick, a dumb friend who is that bimbo from that sitcom. Keep the angles and remarks to yourself, as it may be offensive if someone may hear them.
  7. Let loose, go with the flow and have fun
    Yeah, this is a good wrap up. Know that you’ll fuck up and make a fool of yourself. Trial and error, bro. But don’t lar beat yourself up. Just laugh it off, make one minor adjustment, and try again. Sometimes just because you’re able to laugh it off (refer to point 1), the girl may just find you cute. ?

So there you have it, a little nice guy’s guide to score an epic girlfriend.


Co-Founder of KICKSTART by night, Talent Development Consultant, organising workshops and conferences by day, and full-time single dad in between, Maverick is pretty much a renegade. An ex-monk who's always first to ask "why not?", Mav enjoys hacking the way things are done, and pretty much happy with the success rate of 50% (coz sometimes mom is right after all...). When it comes to business, give him a million bucks and he'll most probably get a new set of gadgets, drive home an Audi R8 and reload his Starbucks card. But give him little to nothing, and see how he starts switching on the little brain-matter between his ears. Challenge ACCEPTED!

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