Let me be clear, I am not into Friends With Benefits (FWB) or Fuck Buddy (FB). I’m not even on Tinder, yo! But over the years I have a couple of friends who are in this category of relationship, and I am always intrigued by it.
Am I curious coz I secretly want it too? I can’t say for the distant very far future, coz things can change, but I’m pretty sure for the next few years (try decades) to come, it’s definitely not on my mind. I’m currently in a healthy relationship, and although we discussed Fuck Buddy relationships in general, neither one of us are into it. Never had been either. But we encountered people who do, and yeah, like I said, that got us intrigued. (My GF and I kinda like to over analyse stuff coz it’s cheap entertainment)
3 months after the divorce, I’ve been dating again, and there was this girl who I felt a connection with. As I was pretty nervous (the last time I dated, we still used the payphone, so go figure), I asked my buddy Anthony, who’s a Harvard grad, reads a lot of social dynamics, charismatic around women, personal growth enthusiast, so I figured he can give me a tip or two on the date.
At the end of the date, hug her, smell/sniff her hair and give her a kiss on the cheek.
I can tell you even now most Malaysian dudes (Anthony is Malaysian-born but grew up in the land down under. No, not Singapore you idiot, Australia!) will cringe at that suggestion, and said what I said “That’s stupid!”
So when I was supposed to be finishing my slides for a guest-lecture for a University I drop out from (yeah, I know, it warrants another blog post), I sort of kepoh (1) a bit a overheard this hot, smart, funny, gorgeous Malaysian young lady having such a good time conversing, laughing, flirting and touching with an ang moh (2) dude.
Then I remembered a couple of hot, smart, funny, gorgeous Malaysian girl friends who are either married to or dating ang moh dudes too, and I did ask them why not give the local boys a shot. Now, here’s a compilation of the age-long survey. Now, please bear in mind these are just opinions of a few and does not reflect every Malaysian guy, but if you terasa (3), well, maybe you are the few? ;p
Have you ever been in a relationship where you both kinda know it’s not gonna work, and yet, you put effort into it hoping it will work? Hey, sometimes it does work, i.e. flame rekindled, better than ever, block-your-calendar-we’re-getting-married. If these describe you, go read something else. Some conspiracy to over throw the PM, what stuff can and cannot be stored in the first lady’s hair, or if RM42b were changed into 50 sen coins, how many rubber balls you can fill you bed room with (HINT: You’ll be buried alive).
Cos the rest of the article is for those who didn’t have those kinds happen. (No, not talking about the PM)
Here’s a story of how letting it go turned out to be a better thing, but before that, as a dude, let me tell you why dudes generally hold on to the relationship.