Humblebraggers and My Humble Ramblings About Them

“I gotta stop eating those desserts from the first class menu or risk losing the modelling contract.”

“I feel sorry for those who were lining up to get my autograph only to find out I’ve left in the limo with Tom C half an hour ago.”

“I hate it when life gives me the worst kind of choices. I mean, how am I supposed to choose between full scholarships to three ivy leagues school? #lifesucks”

Ok, before you go off and say something like “dick”, “what a douche”, “don’t be so fucking perasan lar”, “nothing better to say just STFU lar!”, let me first give you the definition of the term humblebrag. (assuming my examples above are not illustrious enough)

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43 questions to check if you can be a lifestyle entrepreneur or digital nomad

See that photo up there? It’s BS by the way. Tried and tested, and it only got my eyes freaking tired, with sand into laptop while my ass heats up to cook my balls.

When people know about our travels (Debbie and I try to do 90 days of travel a year, minimum 60), they always envy our lifestyle, and ask us how we did it.

Frankly, the how-we-did-it question is not even close to the real question they should be asking, which is:

What are you getting into?

And truth be told, there’s nothing much to envy about, which is why we hardly share our check-ins and travels on social media. Unless it’s something too stupidly funny. 🙂

Inspired by a post by Marcus Teoh, Debbie and I decided to compile a list of questions that should help you decide if being a lifestyle entrepreneur or digital nomad is something you really should strive for.

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Our shit and the day we don’t pick it up anymore

A lot of times we look at politicians who created problems but don’t pick up the mess. I mean, you don’t have to look so far, Malaysia’s political scene totally deserves a channel on it’s own at Astro. Like a bad script for an action movie, the flow is usually:

  1. Shit happens
  2. Appoint scape goat(s)
  3. Misdirection
  4. Bury said shit
  5. Look elsewhere
  6. Post credit scene: Launch new campaign for next impending shit
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How to Battle the Green Monster of Entrepreneurship

There are only a couple of green monsters out there. It’s not the Hulk, or how your private parts looked like after being stung by an exotically fatal jungle hornet*.

No, I’m talking about the one inside you (again, dude, not the one in your pants).

Yeah, let’s talk about jealousy.

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Screw that reunion meetup lar

Let me get it right first.

In no way am I referring to those reunion dinners that involves relatives, family members and loved ones. Those you can either rent a boyfriend, girlfriend or give-your-grandma-a-scare gayfriend, or sit there silently and be screwed instead lar. Remember, the aunties are just caring for your well being. 🙂

No, I’m referring to those with your classmates. Yeap, those who you’d copied homework from all your school days, those you ponteng class with, those you had a secret crush on for years, those who first populate your Friendster account (yeah, I’m that old). And because everyone is back in your hometown for CNY, it makes a good sense to meet up, kan?

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The Return of the Buywards

This has happened to me twice already, and I thought it would be good to share the experience.

Marketers who are good in psychology will tell you of the triple A to a human’s heart. Attention, Affirmation, Acknowledgement. That’s one of the reason why awards are so appealing. People would add it to their name card, decorate it on their social media profiles, shelved it on their personal wall of fame.

A couple of years back in a previous business, we were nominated for a prestigious brand award. Of course, as naive as we were, we didn’t know we had to buy a table at the award ceremony to officiate it. Naively too, we asked if they can just mail us the award, which they said no. Well, at least we tried.

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The Making of Desperate Entrepreneurs

Bet you’ve seen or worse, worked with one. These special breed of entrepreneurs, or for the lucky ones, is just a temporary phase, usually portray one or more of the symptoms below:

  • Change company direction every 3 days
  • Change team member’s and staff’s roles every 3.5 days
  • Quote Sir Richard Branson and his 500+ companies
  • Use the term pivot too often
  • Do the “pivot” lagi more often
  • Jack of all trades but master of none
  • 5 years later at the school reunion, he’s still working on that idea/startup with no apparent growth (his mom secretly texts you to help “advice” his son)

If entrepreneurship is a mix bag of many skills, traits and mojo, then the equation for desperate entrepreneurs are:

Desperate Entrepreneurs = Balls of Fire + Balls on Fire + Tons of Unpaid Bills + That One I Also Can Ao + Slap-Worthy Ego - FOCUS

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Doing Entrepreneurship Mythbuster-style

Three years of doing KICKSTART, where we gather about 250 entrepreneurs once a month to network and learn from mentors, and personally running a few businesses (failed four at least) for 12 years, you wanna know the truth? I get kinda icky feeling when I’m called an entrepreneur.

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Be my Fuck Buddy lar…

Let me be clear, I am not into Friends With Benefits (FWB) or Fuck Buddy (FB). I’m not even on Tinder, yo! But over the years I have a couple of friends who are in this category of relationship, and I am always intrigued by it.

Am I curious coz I secretly want it too? I can’t say for the distant very far future, coz things can change, but I’m pretty sure for the next few years (try decades) to come, it’s definitely not on my mind. I’m currently in a healthy relationship, and although we discussed Fuck Buddy relationships in general, neither one of us are into it. Never had been either. But we encountered people who do, and yeah, like I said, that got us intrigued. (My GF and I kinda like to over analyse stuff coz it’s cheap entertainment)

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The Curious Case of Hot Smart Malaysian Girls Dating Ang Moh Dudes

So when I was supposed to be finishing my slides for a guest-lecture for a University I drop out from (yeah, I know, it warrants another blog post), I sort of kepoh (1) a bit a overheard this hot, smart, funny, gorgeous Malaysian young lady having such a good time conversing, laughing, flirting and touching with an ang moh (2) dude.

Then I remembered a couple of hot, smart, funny, gorgeous Malaysian girl friends who are either married to or dating ang moh dudes too, and I did ask them why not give the local boys a shot. Now, here’s a compilation of the age-long survey. Now, please bear in mind these are just opinions of a few and does not reflect every Malaysian guy, but if you terasa (3), well, maybe you are the few? ;p

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