Three years of doing KICKSTART, where we gather about 250 entrepreneurs once a month to network and learn from mentors, and personally running a few businesses (failed four at least) for 12 years, you wanna know the truth? I get kinda icky feeling when I’m called an entrepreneur.
No, not literally putting on white paint, green wigs and a big red nose and scare the shit out of kids and girls and probably your mom. What I mean by being a clown here, is to be funny. Like it or not, we loved to be entertained, and would pay top dollars sometimes just for entertainment. Being humorous is one sure way of enter-taining your way into a woman’s heart, and chances when you already had one, it probably will keep the relationship going for a long time.
“But I’m not funny lar….”
Ok, let me just say that this presentation at the 1AES Growth Hack Labs was no way for me dicking-off, showing the wizardry I have around events and email writing. Just that over the past few years of running KICKSTART.MY, FuckUpNights KL and other various workshop, creative email copywriting accounts to over 83% in the success of filling up those events. In this workshop I’ve shared stuff that has worked for me, cutting-off the BS around email and events marketing, and basically, yeah, dicking-off lar. 🙂
Let me be clear, I am not into Friends With Benefits (FWB) or Fuck Buddy (FB). I’m not even on Tinder, yo! But over the years I have a couple of friends who are in this category of relationship, and I am always intrigued by it.
Am I curious coz I secretly want it too? I can’t say for the distant very far future, coz things can change, but I’m pretty sure for the next few years (try decades) to come, it’s definitely not on my mind. I’m currently in a healthy relationship, and although we discussed Fuck Buddy relationships in general, neither one of us are into it. Never had been either. But we encountered people who do, and yeah, like I said, that got us intrigued. (My GF and I kinda like to over analyse stuff coz it’s cheap entertainment)
3 months after the divorce, I’ve been dating again, and there was this girl who I felt a connection with. As I was pretty nervous (the last time I dated, we still used the payphone, so go figure), I asked my buddy Anthony, who’s a Harvard grad, reads a lot of social dynamics, charismatic around women, personal growth enthusiast, so I figured he can give me a tip or two on the date.
At the end of the date, hug her, smell/sniff her hair and give her a kiss on the cheek.
I can tell you even now most Malaysian dudes (Anthony is Malaysian-born but grew up in the land down under. No, not Singapore you idiot, Australia!) will cringe at that suggestion, and said what I said “That’s stupid!”
So when I was supposed to be finishing my slides for a guest-lecture for a University I drop out from (yeah, I know, it warrants another blog post), I sort of kepoh (1) a bit a overheard this hot, smart, funny, gorgeous Malaysian young lady having such a good time conversing, laughing, flirting and touching with an ang moh (2) dude.
Then I remembered a couple of hot, smart, funny, gorgeous Malaysian girl friends who are either married to or dating ang moh dudes too, and I did ask them why not give the local boys a shot. Now, here’s a compilation of the age-long survey. Now, please bear in mind these are just opinions of a few and does not reflect every Malaysian guy, but if you terasa (3), well, maybe you are the few? ;p
Have you ever been in a relationship where you both kinda know it’s not gonna work, and yet, you put effort into it hoping it will work? Hey, sometimes it does work, i.e. flame rekindled, better than ever, block-your-calendar-we’re-getting-married. If these describe you, go read something else. Some conspiracy to over throw the PM, what stuff can and cannot be stored in the first lady’s hair, or if RM42b were changed into 50 sen coins, how many rubber balls you can fill you bed room with (HINT: You’ll be buried alive).
Cos the rest of the article is for those who didn’t have those kinds happen. (No, not talking about the PM)
Here’s a story of how letting it go turned out to be a better thing, but before that, as a dude, let me tell you why dudes generally hold on to the relationship.
We hate competition, yet, we were moulded by the concept since school. No, this is not another shot at the public school system. This is also not on how some of us grow out of the condition of the old, while others may not grow at all.
We can’t go through life alone. That’s why we made friends, and sometimes, if we’re lucky, we picked a special someone and made him or her, well, the special someone. Sometimes you marry them, sometimes it’s just a commitment of the heart, but regardless, they have become your life partners.
Then the clash sometimes happens. See, some friends had been with you since the beginning of time (ok, a bit of exaggeration, but you get the point). They stick with you through thick and thin, through your ups and downs. Some you lost contact for ages and yet after meeting them again, the friendship rekindled, as if it never stopped at all. We’re fortunate to have friends like that – through the victories and fuckups, through the heartbreaks and triumphs, through the wounds and recoveries.
Competition, special someone, friends, so where does that lead us?
People say that signs are everywhere, that they are all around us,
And we would see them had we been more conscious,
But signs are also funny things you see,
They can totally mess with your mind, if you let them be.
When I was little, I was entertained by a story,
About a king who would sneak out almost every nightly,
No it wasn’t for an affair, a rendezvous or a secret supper,
Nor was it without logical reasons either.
You see, while reports from his advisors were prompt and good,
The king had long suspect it’s just to lift his mood,
Hence the sneaking around at night, so see things true with his eyes,
For then will he be able, to tell truth from lies.
As my watch strike two in the morning, being at a place I normally will not be,
How I wished my king would walk the streets with me,
Political protest they said, but peace is all he will see,
A common sight among the sea of bodies, is the faces that are proudly happy.
The king would ask me questions, like what is the purpose of this all?
Isn’t it odd to see parents bring their kids so small?
How can that old couple stay up so late without sleep?
Why the proud looks on their face with any stranger that they meet?
Have there been so many homeless, as they flood the dusty sidewalks?
Why are common people, so engaged with random talks?
What makes busy executives sacrifice a day of rest?
Giving up their usual comforts, for something far from a fest?
Why are youngers singing songs, as they march down the carless streets?
Why do they walk on, when they are tired from head to feet?
How can my security officers stand by, not providing aid when they should?
What makes the tourists stay up, far longer than they could?
Why are people honking in a rhythm, without a conductor present?
What makes a guy sing in public, even though he clearly lacks the talent?
Why are birthday songs sung by thousands, even if the ones celebrating are so few?
Why are free packs of food being given, complete with a Mountain Dew?
Many questions were asked, yet the answers eluded him,
Could it be he’s too blind to see the faces of his people suffering?
Where was the vision that was once noble, honest and great?
Where is courage, honor and strength of late?
As I opened my eyes, trying to answer to the king that could have been there,
A dream it has been after all, back to a reality we the people mutually share,
For if the king had walked the streets with me and see what I’ve seen,
There may still hope for him, to be the great king he could have been.